Things have been rough for a couple months now, and it doesn’t appear to be getting better. There are a lot of things happening in life that is making it all so much worse.

I have still been writing, but it’s hard to cope with everything I have been covering. It brings up a lot of memories and feelings. It was a very hard time to go through, and it isn’t easy writing about it.

Lately, I haven’t wanted anything to do with anyone. I feel like everyone has ulterior motives for wanting to be around. I feel like no one really cares about me, and I don’t matter at all.

I can honestly see why people give up. It would be easy to quit anything right now, even life. Every little setback feels like another mountain I have to move just to go on. I am having a hard time seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, and I am again feeling so alone.

I would give anything not to have the mental health problems I have, so I could go to work and be like everyone else. Unfortunately, that’s not going to happen.

I don’t know what to do about some of the things I went through these last few years. I feel like I should be one of the people who speak up. Some of this wasn’t right. I don’t want to think that anyone else will ever go through some of what I endured.

I know I am being vague, but I am trying not to get into too many details that are going to be covered in the book. I just wanted to give you an update on what’s going on with me lately.

I am trying as hard as I can, but I don’t feel like I have a lot of support during a time when I need it. Last year, when I wasn’t doing too poorly, I had all the support in the world. It seems to be gone now. Everyone did what they were supposed to do, and now that’s over.

Like therapy. I went to that for the last year and sat there every week, with nothing to say and nothing to work on. There really wasn’t any reason for me to be there at that time. It lasted for a year.

Now, I am down to once a month. I was supposed to be finished with this, but I have to keep going because I am seeing the psychiatrist for my medications there. Because of that, I am required to continue with therapy.

I haven’t had an appointment in a while. I needed to cancel the last one because I couldn’t get telehealth set up. It was going to snow, and they wanted everyone to be seen using telehealth. I never got the link to set it up, so I had to cancel the appointment. I left a message, but my therapist never called me back to reschedule.

Here I sit, not doing so well. This would be a good time to have me in for an appointment. My record shows how I have been doing.

I don’t want to call them, but I guess I will have to. I am not happy with the services I have been receiving there anyway, where therapy is concerned.

Enough about that. I hardly come out of the house, and this has been really hard on me. This started right after Thanksgiving, and it’s been going on ever since.

I am not in the position to hold a job right now. I can’t even take a shower. I can’t motivate at all, and all I ever do is lay in bed, dissociated.

I don’t know how to make myself feel better. I used to go to the mountains to ride around and take pictures, but I have no car and no license. I’m stuck.

And now, without a job, I am really stuck.

Once again, mental illness has destroyed everything I was working towards. I was doing so well, and I really didn’t need this again.

I have been thinking a lot about advocacy. I think I would like to get into that in the future. The near future. I would like to talk more about what happened in my life and my experiences along the way.

What do you think?

Thanks for stopping by! I appreciate your interest. Take care!!

Sincerely, R. Kline

Have a wonderful Monday! I am going to do things a little differently this week. I have decided to give myself a break from writing on the weekends. I think I am pushing myself too hard by writing every day. I need to take a chill pill (or relax, I don’t really intend on taking a pill) and give myself some room to breathe.

Part Three and all its sections: This had been a challenging part to work on, and it’s still getting bigger every day. Now there are five sections to that part, and I believe some of them will grow into monsters. It’s an important part of the book, so I am taking my time finishing this first draft. It needs to be good, or no one is going to want to finish my book.

I’ve been trying to take good care of myself while writing this book. It’s been a lot to deal with. Going back in time and remembering every detail comes with a lot of stress. It’s bringing back a lot of memories that I need to process. I can’t just write it down without thinking about it and feeling it all again. It doesn’t work that way. I lived this, and to some extent, I am reliving it as I am writing it.

It truly is an unbelievable story. I count my blessings every day that no one was hurt, and neither was I. I can’t believe I lived through this. It’s been a horrific few years, and some of these memories haunt me deeply, even when not considering them for the book.

I am so sorry for the things that happened during the time I was experiencing these last few episodes. I am deeply sorry, and there is nothing I can do to ever make it up to the people who were involved or encountered me along the way, especially on March 8th, 2024.

We will be talking about divine intervention in the book because that’s what happened that day. God ripped me right out of the life I was living and took me away from the hell I was experiencing. He put me in a safe environment, where I eventually got the help I needed. In the end, he relocated me to a whole new life, and it’s a better one. Even though I am still suffering from the same mental illness, I have learned not to fall into what happens to me. I won’t get involved. I refuse to let it put me through anything so severe again. I will sit this one out.

That’s all I am going to say about that. Read the book when it comes out, if you really want to know the truth.

I’m not looking for your pity. I want you to learn something about these illnesses and stop believing the stereotypes.

Have a great day! Thanks again for stopping by! Take care!

Sincerely, R. Kline