Tag Archives: writing

Daily Grind, KCS News, Writing UNHINGED

I Didn’t Forget About You All…

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I know it’s been a while, but I am still around. I took sick last Monday, and I haven’t been up to much of anything. I spent this whole last week in bed, and I came to the conclusion that this has to be COVID-19.

Eight days have passed, and I still feel like crap. I am so weak, and I have a lot of congestion. I hope this goes away soon.

Today was the first time in a week that I even got my computer out. It’s been bothering me that I am not getting anything done on my book. I’m just not up to it.

I am trying not to let this setback bother me too much. I have made good progress up to this point, and I should feel good about it. I do. Being sick isn’t the end of the world.

I have used this time to think about what I need to get done on my book. Even if I haven’t been well enough to be up and using the computer, at least I am getting an idea of where to go with what I have got to this point.

Of course, life always gets in the way. I have a lot on my mind lately, since my mental health isn’t the best right now. I am hanging in there though. Doing what I should. Keeping it simple. I’ve made some life choices that I hope are for the better. Only time will tell.

I hope you all have a great day! Take it one step at a time. As always, thanks for stopping by! You’re always welcome to come back anytime. Take care!!

Sincerely, R. Kline

Daily Grind, Writing UNHINGED

Every Day is a Struggle

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Things have been rough for a couple months now, and it doesn’t appear to be getting better. There are a lot of things happening in life that is making it all so much worse.

I have still been writing, but it’s hard to cope with everything I have been covering. It brings up a lot of memories and feelings. It was a very hard time to go through, and it isn’t easy writing about it.

Lately, I haven’t wanted anything to do with anyone. I feel like everyone has ulterior motives for wanting to be around. I feel like no one really cares about me, and I don’t matter at all.

I can honestly see why people give up. It would be easy to quit anything right now, even life. Every little setback feels like another mountain I have to move just to go on. I am having a hard time seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, and I am again feeling so alone.

I would give anything not to have the mental health problems I have, so I could go to work and be like everyone else. Unfortunately, that’s not going to happen.

I don’t know what to do about some of the things I went through these last few years. I feel like I should be one of the people who speak up. Some of this wasn’t right. I don’t want to think that anyone else will ever go through some of what I endured.

I know I am being vague, but I am trying not to get into too many details that are going to be covered in the book. I just wanted to give you an update on what’s going on with me lately.

I am trying as hard as I can, but I don’t feel like I have a lot of support during a time when I need it. Last year, when I wasn’t doing too poorly, I had all the support in the world. It seems to be gone now. Everyone did what they were supposed to do, and now that’s over.

Like therapy. I went to that for the last year and sat there every week, with nothing to say and nothing to work on. There really wasn’t any reason for me to be there at that time. It lasted for a year.

Now, I am down to once a month. I was supposed to be finished with this, but I have to keep going because I am seeing the psychiatrist for my medications there. Because of that, I am required to continue with therapy.

I haven’t had an appointment in a while. I needed to cancel the last one because I couldn’t get telehealth set up. It was going to snow, and they wanted everyone to be seen using telehealth. I never got the link to set it up, so I had to cancel the appointment. I left a message, but my therapist never called me back to reschedule.

Here I sit, not doing so well. This would be a good time to have me in for an appointment. My record shows how I have been doing.

I don’t want to call them, but I guess I will have to. I am not happy with the services I have been receiving there anyway, where therapy is concerned.

Enough about that. I hardly come out of the house, and this has been really hard on me. This started right after Thanksgiving, and it’s been going on ever since.

I am not in the position to hold a job right now. I can’t even take a shower. I can’t motivate at all, and all I ever do is lay in bed, dissociated.

I don’t know how to make myself feel better. I used to go to the mountains to ride around and take pictures, but I have no car and no license. I’m stuck.

And now, without a job, I am really stuck.

Once again, mental illness has destroyed everything I was working towards. I was doing so well, and I really didn’t need this again.

I have been thinking a lot about advocacy. I think I would like to get into that in the future. The near future. I would like to talk more about what happened in my life and my experiences along the way.

What do you think?

Thanks for stopping by! I appreciate your interest. Take care!!

Sincerely, R. Kline

Daily Grind, Writing UNHINGED

I Will If I Want To

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Have a wonderful Monday! I am going to do things a little differently this week. I have decided to give myself a break from writing on the weekends. I think I am pushing myself too hard by writing every day. I need to take a chill pill (or relax, I don’t really intend on taking a pill) and give myself some room to breathe.

Part Three and all its sections: This had been a challenging part to work on, and it’s still getting bigger every day. Now there are five sections to that part, and I believe some of them will grow into monsters. It’s an important part of the book, so I am taking my time finishing this first draft. It needs to be good, or no one is going to want to finish my book.

I’ve been trying to take good care of myself while writing this book. It’s been a lot to deal with. Going back in time and remembering every detail comes with a lot of stress. It’s bringing back a lot of memories that I need to process. I can’t just write it down without thinking about it and feeling it all again. It doesn’t work that way. I lived this, and to some extent, I am reliving it as I am writing it.

It truly is an unbelievable story. I count my blessings every day that no one was hurt, and neither was I. I can’t believe I lived through this. It’s been a horrific few years, and some of these memories haunt me deeply, even when not considering them for the book.

I am so sorry for the things that happened during the time I was experiencing these last few episodes. I am deeply sorry, and there is nothing I can do to ever make it up to the people who were involved or encountered me along the way, especially on March 8th, 2024.

We will be talking about divine intervention in the book because that’s what happened that day. God ripped me right out of the life I was living and took me away from the hell I was experiencing. He put me in a safe environment, where I eventually got the help I needed. In the end, he relocated me to a whole new life, and it’s a better one. Even though I am still suffering from the same mental illness, I have learned not to fall into what happens to me. I won’t get involved. I refuse to let it put me through anything so severe again. I will sit this one out.

That’s all I am going to say about that. Read the book when it comes out, if you really want to know the truth.

I’m not looking for your pity. I want you to learn something about these illnesses and stop believing the stereotypes.

Have a great day! Thanks again for stopping by! Take care!

Sincerely, R. Kline

Daily Grind, KCS News, Writing UNHINGED

Struggling My Way Through This

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It hasn’t been easy dealing with everything that happened in the fall of 2022. That’s the part I am working on now. It’s a lot to process, and I am trying my best to get through it.

I never said this would be easy. It’s not. It’s hard to deal with the fact that I became so ill and not once did I seek treatment until it was forced upon me.

I wonder about this. I know why I don’t. It’s because it never helps. It’s a miserable thing to go through. It’s depersonalizing to someone who is already suffering enough.

I have been in the hospital so many times over my life that I have learned everything they want to teach me in groups. That’s useless, and I never want to attend them anyway. So, what’s the use of me even being in there? I can have my meds adjusted at home, with the help of my doctor, where I am more comfortable anyway. Why go through that horrible experience of being inpatient when I am already going through enough? What’s the use? I just don’t get it.

I can understand that I need to be in the hospital when I am a clear and present danger to myself or someone else. That’s completely understandable. But what about the other times?

It’s a waste of insurance money. My family would love it if I ran to the hospital every time something happened involving me that made them uncomfortable. They would feel better, even though going inpatient is hell on me. i have told them many times that they could benefit from a support group for families of the mentally ill. They don’t want to do that anymore than I want to go to the hospital.

Anyway, I am trying to explain how things are without giving away any content from my book. That’s difficult itself. I would love to be able to explain things to you, but it’s not possible at this moment in time. I promise that later we will discuss the book in great detail. That will be after it’s done and hopefully published.

The book is coming along nicely. I am very proud of the effort I am putting forth. It’s been a struggle, but it will all be worth it in the end. Writing this book is helping me cope with everything that happened and help to put it behind me. I need closure, so I can go on with my life Hopefully, I will get come clarity from this all, too.

I am happy you have come along for the ride! I appreciate your interest in what I am up to here and what I have going on. Feel free to follow along. That’s the whole point of this blog. You’re also welcome to join the community and become involved. I hope that grows over time.

Thanks for stopping by! Come back again soon!

Sincerely, R. Kline

PS. I haven’t been doing very well lately, as I am working through this. There’s been a lot in life that is weighing me down. A lot has happened, even though I don’t want to be so open about that here. All I will say is that I am now off work because of my disability, and I will be for some time yet in the future. I won’t be returning to my last job. I will be finding a new one. Bear with me. I am doing the best I can. Thanks again for your support! Feel free to comment or like this post. Take care!

Writing UNHINGED

It’s Just Another Manic Monday!

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Not really, but oh well! It just sounded good.

It is Monday. I had a good weekend, and I got lots of writing done. Although I didn’t get as much done as I had hoped, I am pleased with my efforts to this point.

I still currently working on Part Three. I am working on Section 3. I am about halfway done with this part. It’s a large part of the book, and it’s an important part. I want to make sure I do well with this part of the book because it’s so important.

It’s hard dealing with everything that happened, and it’s also hard to remember it all. That specific section deals with November of 2022, and I was so far out of it that I have a hard time getting everything that happened in line chronologically.

It’s also not easy putting some of what happened into words. It’s hard to explain the voices I heard and what they would tell me. It all happened so fast, and it was constantly changing. It’s going to be a challenge to express this properly for the sake of the book. I will do my best though.

I am looking forward to finishing the first draft of this book. I can’t wait to sit down with it and read a hard copy. That will help to put things into perspective. I think that will also be time to start looking for a publisher. I am nervous about that, but I will see this through.

Thanks for stopping by! I appreciate your interest in what I am doing. Stop by anytime! Take care!

Sincerely, R. Kline

Daily Grind, Writing UNHINGED

Dealing With Life on Life’s Terms

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I woke up this morning with this song in my head. I thought I’d share you a link…

When it’s all said and done, I only hope my book can put you in the driver’s seat of my illness, just the way this song makes me feel what they are saying. It’s brilliant.

Take a moment to listen to it. I am sure you’ll see what I mean about feeling it.

This song sums up what I feel when I am approaching the point of no return. At that moment when I am about to break.

What is scarier than that moment, is the time I spend beyond the point of no return. Over that edge…

I become completely U N H I N G E D! I go to some other place and time. It’s impossible for reality to matter when there are so many bigger things to worry about. When reality is no more.

But then I come back. And then, I have to deal with everything that happened while I was gone. I have to try and find a way to go back to reality. I have to learn to live a normal life again.

It’s a repetitive cycle that I am cursed to endure repetitively for the rest of my life. And yes, there are times when I want off this wild ride. I just want to quit. Sometimes, it’s so hard NOT to just give up.

Are you getting the idea of what I am going to be writing about? It’s only just a little taste of what’s to come in the book. This is only scratching the surface of what’s to come. Stick around. Come back soon.

Thanks for stopping by! Take care!

Sincerely, R. Kline

Writing UNHINGED

The Weatherman Lied Again…

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We survived the blizzard here. We only got about 10 inches of snow, instead of the 60 inches they were anticipating.

It was nice to be stuck inside a nice warm apartment. I greatly enjoyed being tied to my computer most of the time. I did take a few breaks to watch some movies. That was a nice change from constantly streaming Little House on the Prairie.

I didn’t meet my deadline of January 25, 2026, for the first draft of part three. I extended the deadline to January 31st. I plan on making good use of the extra days.

I split this part into five sections. This should make it easier to work with. It was becoming a massive file that I couldn’t move around in very easily.

In case I haven’t told you enough about what this book is about:

U N H I N G E D covers a five-year period of my life and deals with my experiences with severe mental illness. It begins with what my life was like prior to this period of time and ends with the current day’s struggles at trying to get my life back. This book was to cover three major mental health episodes or breakdowns, but it will end up covering four. I had another episode this winter that was unexpected and will be covered in the book.

Have a wonderful evening! I will be working hard at writing. Take care!

Sincerely, R. Kline

KCS News, Writing UNHINGED

Missed Deadline…

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I missed the deadline I had set for myself for the first draft of part three, but I am not sweating it. Life interfered of course.

I am close but no cigar. Lol. If that makes sense. I don’t think I was being realistic about how long it would take me to finish the first draft on that part. It’s such a big part of the story, and it covers a lot of ground. I have been thinking of breaking down into five smaller parts because it has been so hard to work with a file that large. It’s at over 40 pages now, and it will probably be 50 pages by the time it is ready. Or more. There’s still a lot to cover from the Fall of 2022. A lot went on.

My new deadline for this part is the end of the month: January 31, 2026. That feels more realistic than the last one. Wish me luck!

Thanks for stopping by! Have a great day! Take care!

Sincerely, R. Kline

Daily Grind

Getting Snowed In in Central Pennsylvania

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It’s snowing, just like they predicted. Now, let’s see if we get what is expected. I have conflicting predictions. One says we will get between 24 and 60 inches. The other prediction says that we will get between12 and 18 inches. I take this to mean that we are getting more than a foot of snow today.

I am NOT okay with that. I hate snow, and I hate winter. I wished I lived somewhere where it’s still warm.

Anyway, this is a good day to cook and to write. I plan on making something nice to eat at some point, and I am already writing at the speed of light.

Stay warm and be safe!

Another update to follow later. Stop back and see what I have to say about the snow. I will also update you on the book, since this is the day I said I would have the first draft of part three done. I will let you know how I make out today.

Thanks for stopping by! Take care!

Sincerely, R. Kline

Writing UNHINGED

I am Feeling the Pressure!

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I made a goal of 1/25/2026 for my first draft of part three. I don’t know why I didn’t give myself until the end of the month. I am really feeling the pressure.

It’s a massive part of the book. There are twelve parts in all, so far. Of these twelve parts, I think part three is the biggest of them all. I have been trying to decide if I should break it down into smaller parts, so it is easier to work with. I am already at 37 pages, and it is getting hard to move around in that file without losing my place.

I worked on this part last night and today. I have been concentrating on it, so I can get that first draft done. I wanted to work from beginning to end, getting each part’s draft done before I move on to the next part in chronological order.

I knew writing a book would be challenging. I didn’t realize just how challenging it was going to be. I still feel good about the progress I am making on the book, and I am trying to take each challenge in stride as I encounter it.

Some days, I don’t get anything done where writing is concerned. I have to let it sit, and I need to give myself time to think. I mentioned this before, but planning is a vital part of the writing process. I spent a lot of time planning this book before I ever wrote a word.

Even now, I go back to those first plans and try to keep myself in line with what I see this book being. They say if you believe it, you can achieve it. Well, I believe it. I can see it in my mind. I will not give up until I have a copy of that book in front of me, that first hard copy. Now, I just have to achieve my goals in writing.

Time to get back to work. I just wanted to give everyone a quick update. Thanks for taking the time to check in! You are always welcome on this website! Come back again soon!

Sincerely, R. Kline